DISCLAIMER
In my research in the archives of a deceased American hero, I stumbled upon an essay that he authored on the origins of the Great Society. I cannot attest to the validity of the essay, but it is probably a fictional account. The author’s heirs have approved of this publication. The author shall remain anonymous.
THE BIRTH OF THE GREAT SOCIETY
Part I
“During the 1960s, in order to ease the financial debt of school, I worked part-time for the Central Intelligence Agency. The CIA wanted an operative to pose as a White House photographer, and while supplying pictures for the media, secretly record President Johnson while he voiced his inner thoughts about the Vietnam War. The CIA wanted to listen in on his conversations with all the Best and the Brightest, including his Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara. (Details on their reasons for accepting my application are available on demand). I turned over to the CIA all my recordings on LBJ ’s conversations pertaining to Vietnam, but I kept another of a conversation the President had with his father’s youngest brother in early June 1964.”
THE WHITEHOUSE
Personal White House secretary via desk audio: Mr. President, your Uncle Ernie is here.
President Johnson (aka LBJ): Wonderful, show him in.
LBJ: Uncle Ern, you look healthier and happier than a free-roaming burro. How are things in San Angelo?
Uncle Ernie: You know I love it in San Angelo, Lyndon. How can you stand the big city?
LBJ: Shoot, Ern, this town would fit into the Longhorns’ stadium.
Uncle Ernie: And that would fit into the Aggies’ stadium. [LBJ laughs] Lyndon, you haven’t been to see us in ages. What have you been up to? [both laugh].
LBJ: Have a seat, Unc.
Uncle Ernie: My oh my, Lyndon, you have a nice place here. Your pappy sure would be proud of you. [More pleasantries are exchanged]. Now, Lyndon, I have some ideas to go over with you if you will allow as much from Ole Uncle Ern.
LBJ: What d’ya mean, allow! The more the better.
Uncle Ernie: It’s clear that the Republicans are going to nominate Goldwater. Now, Lyndon, it seems to me unlikely the Nation will go for three presidents in three years. Nevertheless, you need to take preventative measures. May I suggest two?
LBJ: Suggest all you want, Unc.
Uncle Ernie: First of all, you need to hammer home that if the Arizona Flash becomes president, there will be a long, drawn out war in Vietnam.
LBJ: [LBJ is polite and doesn’t let on that he had already thought of that one]. Capital idea, Unc. You can count on it.
Uncle Ernie: Secondly, you know the power that television has become. It got Kennedy elected, and while you’re no JFK-as-Fred Astaire [both laugh], you can still take advantage-at least negatively. Do a video of a little girl picking flowers, and then have a mushroom cloud envelope the background and move forward until it wipes out all appearance of the girl. Voice-over says, “Do you really want Barry Goldwater for President?” That kind of bovine waste matter always works during campaign season.
LBJ: Hot dang, Unc. I knew you were smart, but I didn’t know about the dazzling part.
Uncle Ernie: Wait, Lyndon, you haven’t heard the best yet. Now let’s get down to brass slacks, ha-ha-ha. Now look, Lyndon, the niggras.*
LBJ: I know...mighty uppity these days, and it’s goin’ to get worse.
Uncle Ernie: You must seize the moment and take advantage. You can see the future, Lyndon; you can see the trend. The niggras aren't going to know their place anymore. They’ll move into our schools: that’s inevitable. There’s nothing that’s going to stop that. But if they are allowed to move up in the world, we’re lost. Without them there is little political hope for us, especially in the future, if you can see as far ahead as I can.
LBJ: I get ya.
*PUBLISHER’S COMMENT
This requires some explanation for those who may be offended by the use of this term. The author of the essay offered the following: [pronounced NIGG’ruz, singular NIGG’ruh, for you provincial Yankees. Educated Southern racists in the older South were hesitant to say “nigger.” They preferred the more refined term “niggra” as in . . . the niggras are gittin’ mighty up. . .]
Part II of the THE BIRTH OF THE GREAT SOCIETY coming soon.